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Friday, January 28, 2011
deviantART
I created a deviant profile, pinkmascarade.deviantART.com I think..well that's my username anyway and I will be updating my photos there. As for my deal with myself...I think ill take a day off.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
moving mountains, instead of pebbles
I was shy, unconfident and afraid of the world based on people I looked up to instilling fear at an early age. I am responsible for that fear, I created it.
I wanted to save animals and people and give more that I had. I expected the best out of everyone and got a little bitter when I realized they weren't living up to my high expectations.."do unto me as I do unto you" I didn't realize how selfish that seemed at the time. I didn't think it was too much to ask to be kind and loving in the midst of chaos..that was the path I chose, why not everyone else? However I grew up and made changes, positive changes, I stopped expecting so much, and starting giving more, but my balance was off and I gave too much of myself. I just wanted nothing more than to fit in, be a part of everything that was shiny and cool.
I wanted to move mountains, become a marine biologist and join Green Peace to save and help sea life. My 12th grade teacher told me there was no way I could do it because he couldn't. I was sad, I believed him, but was never angry...just lacked ambition to follow through. Now I realize that I had resentment because I lived my life thinking that I couldn't be the best. And what a pity that I believed that garbage, but I've learned so many good things because of it. it was just a huge wake up call to realize how in control I truly am and how awesome and beautiful the world really is.
Love is a four letter word and is the most powerful emotion that ever will exist. It heals, provides, excites, is everlasting and never judges. Love in the state of harmony is true bliss. I've been to this place and it is my mission to return.
In 2010 God opened my life to a wonderful job, a beautiful man inside and out and a land of opportunity. I'm thankful and see the wonderful things that he does for others. He operates on a love frequency and it isn't full of five senses stuff..so I'm going to audit my life.
This is my resolution, to be the best Ruthie for myself. I am going to attempt to remove the temptation of the five senses from my mind for 2 weeks and log the improvements here. I will then track for 30 days after my trial testing to see my progress.
Eliminate on trial period:
Taste: allergic foods
Touch: negativity
Smell: I will remove smoking from my habits
Listen: gossip
See: non action when I see something I should/could do.
This blog is raw and real and is an attempt to dig out the fear and replace it all with mountains of love.
P.s. I have never been nor will I ever be negative but I want to test myself to see how I do.
I wanted to save animals and people and give more that I had. I expected the best out of everyone and got a little bitter when I realized they weren't living up to my high expectations.."do unto me as I do unto you" I didn't realize how selfish that seemed at the time. I didn't think it was too much to ask to be kind and loving in the midst of chaos..that was the path I chose, why not everyone else? However I grew up and made changes, positive changes, I stopped expecting so much, and starting giving more, but my balance was off and I gave too much of myself. I just wanted nothing more than to fit in, be a part of everything that was shiny and cool.
I wanted to move mountains, become a marine biologist and join Green Peace to save and help sea life. My 12th grade teacher told me there was no way I could do it because he couldn't. I was sad, I believed him, but was never angry...just lacked ambition to follow through. Now I realize that I had resentment because I lived my life thinking that I couldn't be the best. And what a pity that I believed that garbage, but I've learned so many good things because of it. it was just a huge wake up call to realize how in control I truly am and how awesome and beautiful the world really is.
Love is a four letter word and is the most powerful emotion that ever will exist. It heals, provides, excites, is everlasting and never judges. Love in the state of harmony is true bliss. I've been to this place and it is my mission to return.
In 2010 God opened my life to a wonderful job, a beautiful man inside and out and a land of opportunity. I'm thankful and see the wonderful things that he does for others. He operates on a love frequency and it isn't full of five senses stuff..so I'm going to audit my life.
This is my resolution, to be the best Ruthie for myself. I am going to attempt to remove the temptation of the five senses from my mind for 2 weeks and log the improvements here. I will then track for 30 days after my trial testing to see my progress.
Eliminate on trial period:
Taste: allergic foods
Touch: negativity
Smell: I will remove smoking from my habits
Listen: gossip
See: non action when I see something I should/could do.
This blog is raw and real and is an attempt to dig out the fear and replace it all with mountains of love.
P.s. I have never been nor will I ever be negative but I want to test myself to see how I do.
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Saturday, January 15, 2011
photography
So as of recently I have been inspired by art in photos. I am finding new and interesting ways to look at the world. I'll post some photos later.
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