Parting Ways

So, about a month ago one of my best friends got mad at me for forgetting a date to something she was planning, I said something I shouldn't have which went kind of like, "text me when you're sober" and she flew off the handle (rightly so, however I was partially joking), deleted me from facebook and every site we were on together, called me a few choice names, etc. I apologized over and over in emails and poured my heart out to her because I truthfully was and still am sorry. I guess I'm leaving out the part where I returned the favor in email after she deleted me, and said very many mean things, things that might be unforgivable to some, but it is my defense mechanism when I feel like I am about to get hurt. I wasn't that far from the truth because she went and shared everything with people that I knew and these people deleted me, too. Took what she said for face value which was edited to the dramatic version she wanted to portray. I am a good friend, a great friend and I bend over backwards for everyone I know. I try so hard to stay positive and loving and the one mistake I make I am put in front of a jury for and they have already hung me without even hearing what I have to say. I am sorry for the words that came out of anger and it's too bad that she can't forgive me, because without forgiveness you are toxic and I guess I'm better off.